by Scott Anthony 

It’s the law now, people. If you have and use a cellphone while driving, you must use a hands-free cellphone or earpiece or you will be subject to a hefty fine if you are caught driving and calling at the same time without it. For the record, hands-free does not mean that you can let go of the steering wheel. We’re talking cellphones held to your head.

Effective July 21st, the new law is designed to cut down on accidents caused by people who get distracted while monkeying with their phones. If you get caught, the fine is a hefty $136 dollars. And if you are foolhardy enough to be caught holding your phone to your head in a construction zone, double that number, friend.

This is getting more interesting all the time now that modern smart phones can send text messages, take movies and cruise the internet while you cruise the interstate. But even without the new technology, driving your car, fiddling with the radio, eating a McMuffin, touching up your makeup in the mirror and turning around to control the dog or the kids in the back, is all part of the new, improved motorist. The problem has become so bad that the State Patrol has coined a new phrase to describe individuals who must multi-task this way: the Distracted Driver.

Is it really that important that you stay in touch with everyone on your calling list at all times of the day? Just because you get free minutes does not mean that you have to use them. A couple of days ago, I was creeping along in the parking lot at Safeway when a goofball coming from my right approached an intersection while yapping away on his phone. He never even saw me, so intent he was on his conversation and I just stopped in the lane while he idled through. A lady on the other side saw this as well and together we made faces of mock consternation to acknowledge the drive-by yapper.

To be fair, I have been no paragon of virtue when it comes to mobile phones and just a few weeks ago while I was on the phone, I was the recipient of an unkind gesture from a lady in a soccer mom SUV. It made me wish her phone number was on her license plate so I could call her ask what the problem was, but the real fix for most of us comes in a couple of permutations. We either use the wired ear plug that usually gets tangled up between the shift lever, your coffee mug and your eyeglasses, or go higher tech with the Bluetooth ™, installed in your car dash, or that thingie that goes borg-like into the side of your head.

And even though it’s odd to see someone with an earpiece apparently talking to themselves in their car, it’s worse to cross paths with one in store while they shop and talk at the time to some unseen collaborator. Crazy? No, just distracted.

Coupled with the new ‘hands-free’ cell phone law, the state legislature has enacted some other important changes to the privilege of driving in our part of the country.

Carpool Lane Misuse – 1st time offenders no longer get to fork over a paltry $271 skins, it’s ramped up to a cool $1068 and if you get caught a second time, just double that figure. Ouch. Inveterate HOV lane abusers lose their license after the fourth infraction.

Incorrect Lane Change – Solid lines are there for a reason. If you cross them, you’d better have an extra $380 bucks in the bank.

Driving on the Shoulder – If you like driving on the shoulder, it’s $450 more.

Speeding – We have heard that speeding infractions are likely to be much more strictly enforced and the State Patrol will begin to ticket drivers who exceed the limit as little as three mph. I think that covers just about everyone. Hopefully, the new laws will save lives, and maybe it will remind people that they can return to the days of just listening to the radio while you hollar at the kids or clean a milkshake mess from the console.