Pat's View: “The Red Menace”
I had not seen my old friend Paul Brandenburg for several weeks, so I was looking forward to our lunch appointment. But about an hour before noon he gave me a terse phone call.
“Cashman? Brandenburg.” He was almost whispering. “Something came up. I’ll have to cancel our lunch today.”
But I couldn’t let it go at that. “What’re you talking about?” I asked. “What’s come up?” He was quiet for a moment, and then said, “Something big, that’s all.” Then, he hung up.
So I got in my car, drove directly to his house and knocked on the front door. When he answered, I saw what had come up---and why he was hiding from public view.
Sitting front and center, directly between Paul’s eyes, was the mother of all zits. No, not just the mother, but the entire extended family---a pimple so impossibly gigantic that I couldn’t believe the guy was able to hold his neck erect.
He had become the two-headed man.
The thing loomed like a great, red dirigible---the Brandenburg---potentially more explosive than the Hindenburg. Oh, the humanity! Or perhaps better stated as the “huge manatee. “
