Update:

New photos show blojjers in action. These images captured by a Ballard News-Tribune reporter while investigating in the the Green Lake area show joggers in the bicycle lane at all hours, day and night, with complete disregard for traffic laws and the safety of others.

Original post:

We’ve all seen them, the morning joggers who grab their lives by the short nylon shorts, rising with the sun to make impact with asphalt, turf and mud.

These righteous souls are taking control, paying penance for last night’s delirious Dick’s Deluxe party and getting the exercise they “need for their own good.”

Indeed. These “high-minders” lace-up and squeeze-in, “earning” that therapeutic blast of endorphins to ward off all those negative depressive thoughts, tempering their bodies for the Great Test of might, agility, endurance, health, aesthetics, dog-threat, and the formidable, blister and chafe.

This, “long distance running” could be well and even considered “good” in a sense, at least according to some healthcare professionals, exercise freaks, knee haters, Sounders fans and military drill sergeants. However, when this “exercise” is happening in the bicycle lane there are other opinions afoot, especially among cyclists, drivers, sole conservationists and fashion police.

“I don’t see why they don’t just run on the sidewalk where it’s safe,” said James R., a Roosevelt man who commutes downtown to his job in retail.

James is among many Seattleites noticing joggers occupying the bicycle lane.

Some circles are even calling these “lane-liberty treading” running enthusiasts, “BLJers” meaning Bike Lane Joggers, which they pronounce as “Blawh-jjerrs.”

“I’ve seen them run right through the intersection when it’s green like they’re a car or on a bike. Crosswalk says not to walk, but they’re crazy enough to go through,” said a pedestrian near Roosevelt who asked to not be named for this article, but reported that he’s been “living in the area for years.”

The BNT told him his info would be used in an important upcoming article and showed him a recording device. The BNT asked for further comment. The man said, “Thank you,” and abruptly walked away. He evidently had had enough of this “blojjer” gibberish BNT staff were spinning. Later the man yelled from down the street, “You’re reaching for a story!”

Despite reports of joggers in the bicycle lane, Seattle Police Department and Seattle Department of Transportation are not raising eyebrows or even signs that might notify these rouge joggers to keep out of the lane – at least for their own good.

The BNT was starting to think it was reaching for a story; the evidence just wasn’t there. But then an SDOT media handler sent this commentary about the matter at hand:

“Walking and jogging in a designated bicycle lane is not legal, but it has not been an issue thus far in Seattle,” wrote the SDOT media handler.

Even SPD officials weren’t sure if the phenomenon is actually happening and said they would need to investigate.

SDOT commented further about SPD citing joggers for being in the bicycle lane.

“Walkers/joggers (in the bicycle lane) can be cited should that be an area that we need enforcement.”

Furthermore, the SDOT website http://www.seattle.gov/transportation/PBL.htm
States that pedestrians must yield to bicycle lanes like they are automobile lanes and vice versa for bicycles yielding to pedestrians in crosswalks intersecting with bicycle lanes and while riding on the sidewalk.

So if the City isn’t concerned about blojjers, is this menace to society really happening? Is the BNT reaching for a story?

The Ballard News-Tribune team wanted to see these Exhibitionists Of The Lane in action, so it reluctantly sent interns to the jogging mecca of Seattle: Green Lake.

Interns focused their keen attention on bike lanes in the streets leading up to the lake, not the actual lake trail where this wild jogging breed is bountiful and is naturally hatching like Nike-flies from the warm and green, algae blooming water (Seattle Parks Department is “treating” the issue).

Method:

There is a freshly designated bicycle lane running east and west on NE Ravenna Boulevard coming and going from the lake in one-way traffic lanes. BNT editors knew the freshly laid green paint on the smooth warm space of extra-wide bicycle lanes would be too much, too irresistible for average blojjers to overlook. The diligent interns were advised to watch the area, and they were vehemently up at the most obscene jogging hours of 6:15 am and 8:15 a.m. to count blojjers.

Findings:

That morning it wasn’t long before the athletic and not-so-athletic thighs barely covered by neon colored nylon short shorts were seen trudging toward BNT interns. The sun had just risen, and there was shining dew lingering on the green paint of the lanes. Many cyclists were seen in their morning commute, passing blojjers and tending to their lanes.

Interns saw blojjers coming at least one-and-one-quarter-miles away using their top-end Bio-Rapture 400 binoculars, which were specially ordered from Japan months in advance specifically for this important assignment.

Upon closer examination, the joggers were found to be indeed bike-less and sure enough they were trampling the morning dew in the bicycle lanes.

BNT interns were astounded and half frightened.

“God dammit, Shane, here they come!” one said.

That morning, among the cyclists in the bicycle lane, the BNT interns cautiously witnessed at least three blojjers. There were also at least two “partials” who wavered between lanes and sidewalks, darting back and forth like greased Ping-Pong balls while adjusting their headphones. Others barely moved their feet, as they trotted in high socks and headbands no faster than lethargic bird watchers.

Incidentally, not a single intern brought a camera to document the blojjers in action, and to this they told editors, “We don’t usually get up that early to not even get a byline.”

Note: Attribution for this article is still being “negotiated.”

Conclusions:

1)Some cyclists interviewed that morning said that three to five blojjers is three to five too many and a serious problem.

2) After seeing blojjers in the way of cyclists, interns reported wondering what it must feel like for bikers as these joggers – of all people – encroached on their designated lane when there is an obvious sidewalk next to it. They speculate that motorists must have and probably still have the same sentiment about cyclists after they “made room.”

Lane where blojjers were spotted near Green Lake. Incidentally, the interns assigned to count blojjers “forgot” a camera. Photo by Shane Harms

Note: The Ballard News-Tribune interns can only speculate this because they ride the bus with the rest of the high-minded, artistically and intellectually gifted, morally sound, patriotic, self- actualized, flat-footed and bird watching citizens of this great city.

(**Side note to readers: Emphasis was added to favor interns’ character and intellect in order to potentially win them over during a pending legal battle over intellectual property due to attribution or lack thereof in this article.)

3) The BNT asked SPD media handlers what can be done about blojjers. Their answer was a typical Seattle response: not citation, but better education.

“Pshhh” was heard hissed from the Distribution Department, a far-off nest of shrewd and atavistic mutant individuals in the dank, mold-ridden Pagan wilderness of the BNT office.

Will there be citations for blojjers in the future? Is this menace under control? BNT interns hopefully are on the job (pending legal outcome) and will document Seattle Park’s progress in “handling” the growing blojjing Nike-flies.

Stay tuned for next week when BNT “staff” interview pedestrians and motorists about “Salmon Bikers” and the problem of swimming upstream in one-ways.