(Editor's Note: When we heard Normandy Park resident Don Crawley had co-written a book about how compassionate geeks can deal better with others at work, we wanted to know more.)
During my work as a customer service speaker and trainer working with customers as diverse as Facebook, state government, healthcare, universities, and financial services, I observed that within every organization, there are some individuals who simply "get it."
Given a choice, customers and end-users always go back to them, not only with problems, but also for every type of interaction with the organization. Watching those individuals, I began to see common traits emerge.
It seems that there are really four intrinsic qualities common to great service providers.
The first of those traits is empathy, the ability to connect with another individual emotionally, to feel what they're feeling. It's often known as "putting yourself in someone else's shoes." In my customer service workshops, I recommend the use of empathetic phrases such as "I'd feel that way, too, if it happened to me" or "I can see how frustrated you are and I don't blame you."
It's also important to be authentic in your empathy. If you simply can't relate to the other person's situation, it's okay to say so when you combine it with human understanding. For example, you can say things like, "I've never been in your situation, and so I'm not going to tell you I understand. I can't even imagine what that's like, but I am going to do everything possible to help you." The key is sincere, human-to-human empathy.
The second trait is compassion, the act of caring about the well-being of another. It's the timeless wisdom of the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you would have them treat you.
Like empathy, compassion is about one human relating to another. When our users or customers place themselves in our care, they are first and foremost human beings. We may not like their political views, we may not like the way they look or act. We may not like anything about them, but they are still human beings deserving of our care, understanding, and respect. When you genuinely care about what happens to other people, you instinctively look for ways to better their experience.
The third trait is the ability to listen, meaning that your sole focus is on what the other person is saying. Effective listening is enhanced by a "human moment" in which you are attuned to the other person.
According to psychiatrist Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, "To make the human moment work, you have to set aside what you're doing, put down the memo you were reading, disengage from your laptop, abandon your daydream, and focus on the person you're with. Usually when you do that, the other person will feel the energy and respond in kind."
A technique that can help is to listen as though you're going to be tested on what is being said. If you know there's a quiz, you'll find a way to sharpen your focus on the speaker.
The fourth essential skill is the ability to treat everyone with respect, regardless of how you might feel about them. In fact, it's not necessary to respect someone to treat him or her with respect. Respecting someone is a matter of how you feel about that person and whether they have earned your respect. Treating someone with respect is about your behavior and, frankly, is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.
In our role as providers of service to people, we may find ourselves dealing with people we don't like or respect. We maintain our own dignity and self-respect when we treat all living things respectfully. In his landmark book, Man's Search for Meaning, author Viktor Frankl suggests that the true measure of an individual lies not in his or her usefulness, but in his or her ability to maintain a sense of dignity in all circumstances.
The interesting thing is that, as we begin to apply these principles in our interactions with end-users and customers, they start to become second nature for us. We stop worrying about our differences from others and start enjoying our interactions with others and, in the process, intuitively provide outstanding customer service or end-user support.
To learn more, check out my new book, written with co-author Paul R. Senness, "The Compassionate Geek: Mastering Customer Service for I.T. Professionals," available in paperback and Kindle editions through Amazon.com.
For information about customer service training programs for I.T. professionals, please visit www.compassionategeek.com. For information about keynotes and breakout sessions, please visit www.doncrawley.com.
Don R. Crawley is president/chief technologist at soundtraining.net, the Seattle-based provider of accelerated I.T. training. He is also an author, speaker, actor, and musician.
