I admit that I am a little nervous when Elsbeth gets behind the wheel. This doesn't happen often, but sometimes is necessary, like right now, while I am recovering from minor eye surgery for cataracts. (See her commentary about this in her own words below.)

I feel funny, like the I am being chauffeured by one of the Seven Dwarves. But she has never had an accident and only got stopped one time for going the wrong way on a one way street in downtown Seattle. She was able to avoid a ticket by somehow dazzling the cop .

I think what makes me nervous is that she has to move the drivers seat right up close to the wheel and sit on a dictionary to be able to see over the dashboard. Pedestrians stare at the car wondering if it runs by itself. Her legs are so short her feet don't reach the pedals so when she is ready to go on the light change she has to stomp on the gas pedal. This action makes the rear wheels squeal and the car to leap forward like a kangaroo with a hotfoot.

This does not seem to bother her even though it does waste gasoline and one thing about this tiny person is she does not abide wasting anything. We have a steamer trunk full of hot cakes she plans to serve some Sunday morning.

If you or someone you know are planning on getting cataracts removed I found it has become amazingly popular and we have a number of highly capable eye doctors locally.

The actual operation only takes a few minutes, is painless and healing can take up to thirty days .I chose to wait a month or so between eyes because of travel plans. I noticed one day after the operation that everything was much lighter, where before it seemed like dusk any time of the day and colors are much more vivid. I have the new lens which is supposed to allow you to forgo glasses but the doctor only says it is possible but no guarantee.

If you need Elsbeth to drive you around while you are recovering she will be unavailable .I have another eye to go.

Now, for the sake of honesty and accuracy in reporting, here are Elsbeth's thoughts about our temporary role switch: she drives the car while I ride shotgun and yell out the windows to warn pedestrians. Her words:

Ach du lieber: mein herr ist nicht ganz dabei

Mein herr of our haus vas so gut ven I vas learnink to valk again from a new knee. Learnink to use a microvave und pourink his Cheerios by himself und pushink der cart at der greengrocers. Und drivink me to the doctkers un der hospital und to the bank and der postamt. So this veek ven he got his eye fixed from a Cadillac in eyeball und needed a ride from der hospital it vas mein time to help him mit der drivink.

I vill pray to Gott he gets vell soon.

He drives me nutty ven he sits in passenger seat. He tells me ven I shoud stop. Ven I should go . Ven a light turns color and vere to park. If I am going speed limit he says slow down. Ven I slow to stop he yells I should stop from hitting car in front of me.

That is all i haf to say except Gott in himmel. und Ach du lieber. Elsbeth

The local police will have a special bulletin when Elsbeth drives the guy who is waving his arms and shouting at a driver's seat that appears empty. They can be reached at wseditor@robinsonnews.com