Twenty to thirty years ago high school sweethearts were more than just adorable and old-fashioned rarities. Back then students would fall in love and get married right after high school graduation. College wasn't the norm.

Now, in the face of college, high school relationships seem almost pointless. Casual relationships (the kind that "unhealthily" permeate modern society) become practically desirable: no heartbreak attached. There is no point in building strong emotional ties with a significant other when those ties will have to be severed at a designated time. Yet love rarely adheres to what logic dictates. Consequently, many of us high school students (myself and several of my friends included) find ourselves fighting back the days that seemed so far away just months ago.

We are all forced to reevaluate just what our relationships mean to us. Are we willing to sacrifice our dreams for someone who, despite what we hope or want to believe, might not be around for many more years let alone the rest of our lives? The answer should always be no.

The "love conquers all" mantra is perfect for a person who has no dreams or aspirations, who is satisfied with whatever life throws at them. I'm not like that, nor are many of my friends. This is why most high school relationships don't survive college (or even the summer preceding).

My boyfriend and I discussed this already. Before I could fully consider continuing our relationship after high school, I had to make sure that he understood that college would take priority over us. I know that, for me at least, putting studying over time with my boyfriend is easier said than done, but I do have high ambitions. I would never forgive myself if I let my dreams flop because of someone else no matter how much I loved him (and I do love him so very much).

All people change as they age. Not everyone changes in a way that matches his or her partner and high school students have a lot of growing up to do.

One of my friends put it this way: college should be a clean break from high school, a chance for a fresh start - and that includes the people you hang with. She is also recently attached to a significant other and not necessarily looking forward to leaving him behind. Yet she has considered no serious alternative.

That tends to be what happens. Couples often have no choice but to break apart unless one of the involved decides to sacrifice his or her future plans for the relationship. There is nothing wrong with doing so if you are completely positive that that is what you want, but don't make a decision like that with regret(s). Doing so would only put pressure on the relationship to succeed, therefore making a favorable outcome less likely than ever.

It's not a situation that has a solution or any "right" or "wrong" answers. It's dumb, hateful, despicable, sick, frustrating and heartbreaking, but name-calling doesn't make it go away. All of us in high school relationships have to face the fact that graduation day is coming soon. Trust me, dwelling on the coming separation does no one any good - neither does ignoring it. Anyone in a high school relationship needs to discuss with their significant other how things are going to work out come college.

Realizing that an end is coming hurts. Last year I would've said that it would be no big deal: college starts, we break up and go our separate ways, issue closed. I should've known better, nothing emotional is ever that simple.

Kyra-lin Hom can be reached at kl_hom@yahoo.com