So if you are dreading a trip to the drug store for a carload of one bite Snickers bars to hand out to a gang of kids from as far away as Renton, many of whom could play for the Sonics, I have a better idea.

No, this Halloween I am not suggesting filling a washtub with water in the middle of the living room and trying to bite the stem of a floating apple without drowning. My folks called it bobbing but I hated it because the big kids always pushed my head under.

And I am not suggesting you go across the street and scoop up a cow pie and put it on the neighbor lady's front porch after unscrewing the light bulb. It is too hard to find a neighbor with a cow around here, anyway.

And don't even think about putting anybody's carriage on the roof of his barn.

If you are into kissing, then spin the bottle and musical chairs are okay, but going into the hall closet with a female of the opposite sex is risky if you are dumb enough to pick a young widow or unmarried handyman.

Stealing some orange construction cones from the Five Corners highway rebuild is verboten and so is placing them across the road on 152nd so you end up staring at the top of a giant mound of dirt in what will be a condo at the Burien Town Square. It could result in spending some time in the pokey.

We once tried dressing up in costume and trying to fool friends. I went as Hagar the Horrible Viking and Elsbeth went as a toothsome Helga.

When the friends opened the door and handed out a candied apple, Elsbeth ran over and jumped in the lap of the startled master of the house. As she gave him a big smooch on the cheek his wife picked up a broom and swatted her on the backside.

Nah, just do what we are doing this year.

All eight of our kids have their own plans so we will go next door after turning off all the lights, and explain that the power company has shut us down for not paying our bill, that we have run out of presto logs, are cold, hungry and lonely, and could we have a Milky Way to tide us over till morning and could we sleep on their couch?

Meet Ian Briscoe

This Highline accountant weighed 135 pounds when he took up bodybuilding at Highline Athletic Club 20 years ago. He now weighs 170 and works out once a week. When he cannot make it to the fitness center he works out at home, mostly with exercising.

He admits to being kind of a health fanatic, eating very little red meat but lots of salmon and drinking milk with a protein powder for breakfast each morning. He rebuilds muscle tissue drinking a protein smoothie after each workout.

He is a non-smoker and non-drinker and at 57 can lick his weight in wildcats. His best bench press is 330 pounds.

He and his wife, Pam, have two sons, and ride their Harley to Sturgis, South Dakota, every year to a rally.

Pam went to McMicken Heights Elementary and Tyee High and is a grad of South Seattle Community College.

Ian went to Shoreline High and has a Bachelors degree in federal taxation from City University.