"X-Men Origins: Wolverine"
Dir. Gavin Hood
PG-13, 107 min.
noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10:10

You're sitting in a restaurant. The waiter puts a dish in front of you. You take a bite. It's delicious. Just as you are about take another bite, the waiter takes the dish away and replaces it with another. The same thing happens a dozen times. In the end, you've had a few truly enjoyable bites but not a very satisfying meal.

That pretty much sums up "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" (a title as cumbersome as that restaurant metaphor).

"Wolverine" is the prequel to the hugely successful (and two-thirds excellent) "X-Men" franchise. It follows the transformation of Logan (Hugh Jackman) from super-healing mutant to the famous metal-clawed title character.

The problem with the film is that it spreads itself too thin, covering hundreds of years and dozens of characters. As soon as an event or character grabs the audience's interest, it or they are swept under the rug, often offhandedly or unceremoniously.

Logan, born in the 19th century, fights, along with his brother Victor Creed (Liev Schreiber), in four major American wars. What could have been a fascinating story arc in itself is wrapped up by the time the opening credits finish rolling.

Logan joins a military team of superheroes to carry out morally-ambiguous missions. We only see one of those missions before he gets fed up and quits. Another interesting story arc wrapped up in 15 minutes.

Three new mutants – Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds), the Blob (Kevin Durand) and Bolt (Dominic Monaghan) – steal their scenes and inject a little life into the stale and cliche-ridden film. But, all three are given miniscule amounts of screen time.

The underuse of Reynolds is especially disappointing. His rambling, sarcastic mercenary is immediately apparent as the most unique and interesting character in the film. Too bad, then, that he is given only two early scenes to work with.

The rest of the film lacks the top-notch acting (Ian McKellen's Magneto is sorely missed) and topical subtext of the first two "X-Men" installments. "Wolverine" is cheesy but is taking itself too seriously to be any fun.

Perhaps worst of all, Jackman's Wolverine, a scene-stealer himself as part of the ensemble cast of the first three "X-Men" films, fades into the background of his own movie, pushed aside in favor of a horde of short-lived plot points and characters.

It leaves you hungry.