The officer had a hunch he was following an impaired driver: Not only was the car swerving across the yellow line, but the gears kept grinding as the driver kept trying to put the car into reverse while driving at 40mph. After being pulled over, he claimed he wasn't familiar with the car (which belonged to his “very very intoxicated passenger”). Asked to step from the car for sobriety tests, the driver had trouble opening the car door. Finally managing to exit the vehicle, he staggered over to the officer and confided, “I hate walking in a new car.” He'll be walking into court soon to face DUI charges.

A 27-year-old was arrested for DUI after slamming into a parked car near 39th and Graham early Thursday. He readily admitted he had imbibed too much and nearly fell to the ground when he got out of the car. Back at the precinct, when signing paperwork for his breathalyzer test, he dropped the pen twice and almost fell over. His adventures continued on the courtesy ride home: The officer advised, “get into the patrol car butt first—and watch your head!” But the suspect “snagged his big, dangly, bulky earring on top of the back door” and hurriedly sat down--too impaired to notice that he had ripped a hole in his ear. The officer pointed out the injury and offered medics, but the suspect declined.

Apparently unaware of any nearby jungle zones that needed clearing, a citizen wondered why the teenager was carrying a machete in the 5900 block of California Ave. SW. Concerns mounted after the teen was seen hiding the weapon in some bushes before he climbed onto a Metro bus. Officers found and confiscated the weapon, sending it to the evidence department for safekeeping.

An obviously alcohol-impaired man walked into a construction site on Gatewood Hill, yelled racial slurs at the workers, and pulled up vegetation in the yard. They tried to keep him from driving off (by taking his keys), but he had an extra set and drove off in a hurry. The car soon returned, driving “aggressively” down an alley, slamming into two walls, and driving off with a bumper dragging on the ground. A license plate check showed that the owner (who matches the suspect description) is currently on probation for felony assault. (His record also shows that officers are advised to “use caution” when dealing with him.) He mostly recently lived in north Seattle but had to leave because someone served a restraining order against him. His current residence is unknown.

Burglaries/break-ins/car prowls by block: 8600 36th SW, 3500 SW Myrtle, 2400 55th SW, 7700 46th SW, 10000 31st SW, 4400 SW Stevens, 2300 45th SW