So I'm upstairs working at my computer, when I hear this raucous squawking and wonder what's happening to my chickens. I scramble downstairs, swing open the door, and find all three of them parked right in front of the door.

I'm thinking, "Yes? And you want what?"

They just look at me, like chickens do with that flat-line expression.

Could they actually be smart enough to come and get me when they want to go back to the coop? So I grab my staff with the cowbell and head out through the gate.

Hot-footin' behind me are "the girls," Charlotte, Mamie and Ella.

As soon as they get into their pen, Mamie heads up to the nesting area. I'll be darned; they actually came to get me when they needed to lay an egg.

It's like girls out in the bars - they all go to the bathroom together!

You may remember me telling the adventure of me getting the girls a couple months ago (Times/News, May 21.) Boy, oh boy, have I learned a lot since then!

I've also had a lot of you contact me with questions and your own chicken stories. We may have that Des Moines Chickeneers Club yet.

One thing I've learned is that rats like chicken feed, and within weeks you'll have rung the dinner bell to the local vermin. One of the wisest things I did was put that 1/2-inch hardware wire six inches, down under the dirt, and all around their cage.

Ah, but that doesn't keep them from digging trenches around the base and poking their grubby little claws in through the wire to dig away the dirt. However, my girls are safe and so is the bulk of their food.

The other thing I've become keenly aware of is bird lice, which they can bring with them or get from other birds. The best way to check is look right above their "vent" - a polite way of saying 'the place where everything comes out.'

You'll find tiny white eggs or little black bugs attached to the base of the feathers. A good product is called Sevin and is something that you can just sprinkle in a gloved hand and rub around on their bottom. Don't forget to dust their roost and nest area as well.

The best defense against body bugs is to give them an area to dust themselves. Oddly enough, they clean themselves by getting dirty.
Today, I went looking for the girls and found them in an area under the eves that doesn't get rain, so it's just this dry dirt.

This has become the girls' Saturday night bathing spot. They roll around and flick dirt on their backs and just soak up the grime, as if they were in a hot tub. However, you better stand back when they're done, because when they shake, it's a veritable dust storm!

Now, let's talk about egg eaters. Oh yes, the little darlings are not above cannibalism - especially if an egg gets accidentally broken.

At this point, they could get a taste for eggs and you'll really have to stay on top of gathering the eggs until they forget how good their unhatched young taste.

If a chicken ever pecks on an egg, it's most likely that it needs calcium, so buy some oyster shells. NEVER give them eggshells, unless you're not harvesting eggs and are just raising fryers. Ooooo, I can't even imagine one of my girls with barbeque sauce!

Keep in mind that these are my first chickens, so I'm still learning, but I come from a country heritage that prided itself in figuring out cheap contraptions that do the trick.

One of my contrivances was to take a bunch of long thin tree suckers and wire them onto the t-posts around their pen, so they're sticking up about seven feet in the air. I then took a ball of string and strung it from sucker tip to sucker tip - sort of like an overhead spider web. I then cut strips of tin foil and twisted them, here and there, on the string.

This has kept birds (especially eagles and hawks) away from my darlings. It works!

And something I amuse myself with is calling the girls, when I find a large rock or brick. They all gather 'round with their heads bowed low and at the ready. When I lift it up, they all dive in for the worm-slug-bug buffet.

I'll tell you what, now when I call those girls, they come a-runnin' like the bulls in Spain.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Well, I guess it's that there's a lot more to chickens than just feeding them and waiting for them to lay eggs.

They're a lot smarter than I thought and also a lot more stubborn. If they're not ready to go in, by golly, it's like tryin' to herd snakes!

They're also a lot of work and worry, but you knew the 'but' was coming, didn't you?

I can pick out each one by their personalities and even know each one's laying schedule. It's about 4:30 and Mamie is about due to come callin' at the door, so I'd best get down there.

She doesn't like to wait.

Des Moines resident Lee Ryan is an actor, creative writer and voice talent. She can be reached in care of hteditor@robinsonnews.com.