By Lisa Mills, CHt.
SPECIAL TO THE TIMES/NEWS

ALL FEELINGS ARE GOOD!

It's What You Do With Them That Is Good or Bad

Life not going exactly as planned? Feeling frustrated or depressed? Smoking, but you want to quit?

Drinking, but you want to quit or drink less? Eating more than you should? Using drugs and it's wrecking your life? Any of the above?

All of these different problems have something in common: they all result in not responding to feelings in a way that takes care of the problem causing the feeling. Smoking, drinking, overeating, and excess snacking are only ways of temporarily coping with the feeling, by distracting yourself from the cause.

Since the cause has not been taken care of, it comes back again. This can lead to frustration and even depression.

Here are a few lists of items that can serve as a guide to help you to respond to your feelings in a more satisfying way than any compulsive behavior ever could:

First, an outline of the brief and simple process:

1. When you feel the desire for the compulsive behavior (snacking, drinking, taking drugs, etc.), name the feeling that you are experiencing (anger, frustration, boredom, stress, anxiety, etc.)

2. Think about what might be causing the feeling. Once you have identified the cause of the feeling, you can start to do something about it (your problematic behavior is unable to do anything about the cause of the feeling or emotion).

3. Satisfy the feeling. Do something that goes directly to the cause of the feeling and eliminates the cause or reduces it. For example, if you feel stressed (feeling as though you have too much to do to be able to do it all well enough (this is the cause of the feeling), you can begin to reduce the number of things you have to do, or at least start working on the most important things first, or get some help, etc. That would be a satisfying response.

The following includes a number of ways one might go about go about eliminating or perhaps reducing those unhealthy feelings.

1. Name the feeling (or guess what it might be - you'll get better at it as you go along).

2. Determine the cause of the feeling (or make your best guess).

3. Satisfy it by reacting to the cause of the feeling in such a way as to reduce or eliminate it. This satisfies the feeling, it will go away and you will feel much better than if you just distracted yourself from it.

Here is an example of one feeling and what you can do about it.

a. Do something new and different that you have always wanted to do, but didn't have the time.

b. Get a computer and learn how to use it.

c. Read a book or magazine.

d. Get a new pet.

e. Learn how to train your dog or cat (lots of luck with the cat!).

f. Take up photography.

g. Organize your photos.

h. Buy some seeds and plant something.

i. Find a good cause and get involved.

j. Take a class.

k. Learn to play chess.

l. Learn how your car or motorcycle works.

m. Go Garage Sale shopping

n. Have a garage sale.

o. Find out what kind of adult education classes are available in your area.

p. Learn yoga, or other kind of stretching or relaxation technique.

q. Call a friend.

r. Get a magnifying glass or microscope and look at things close up.

s. Get out your old stamp collection and wonder why you did that, or why you stopped.

t. Fix something that is broken in your home.

u. Go to an art store, or hardware store, or book store, or camera store, or ______....

v. Ask a kid to tell you a story.

w. Go to a library - they loan out tapes and videos now - very cool.

x. Go for a walk and take along a camera or some binoculars.

y. Learn a musical instrument (harmonicas are very cheap, and very cool, learn the Blues).

z. Anything I didn't list here that isn't illegal, immoral or fattening!

Lisa Mills, CHt. From HELIO•TROPE HYPNOSIS is a coach and hypnotherapist. She can be contacted at www.MillsHypnosis.com, LM@MillsHypnosis.com, or 206-499-3057.