By Georgie Bright Kunkel

Sure I know the signs of aging. Even without my glasses my mirror reveals a few wrinkles and what my doctor calls alligator spots. Once I clicked “restorative surgery” on the web where I learned the benefits and risks of going under the knife to update my out-of-alignment body. After considering the financial outlay and the pain and healing process, not to mention yearly touchups, I put my aging body on hold. I know what my mother always used to say, “It isn’t what you are on the outside, it is what you are on the inside that really counts.” For a control freak like me to have to do what all the counselors on aging tell us to do—LEARN TO LET GO--isn’t what I had looked forward to. I was never one of those who would give in to failing eyesight or hearing loss. That wasn’t going to happen to me. After all I was the youngest in the family and always looked younger than most people my age. But now my ten older brothers and sisters are all gone. My son comforted me by remarking that I could now be the matriarch of the family and no one was left to dispute the stories that I could tell about the good old days.

Well, age finally caught up with me all in one fell swoop on a cruise to Alaska when I was determined to do all the aerobic exercises at the early morning workout. The next morning my muscles were sore and cramping. I didn’t sit around on deck and moan, however. I signed up for the talent show and sang up a storm on stage with the younger members in the show looking amazed at this old grandma belting out “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.”

It was about this time that I learned to listen to my body and to the voice in my head that said, “So you can’t do cartwheels. You can walk briskly around the block every morning.” I have already shed my three-inch heels which resulted in precarious balance.. But I wasn’t prepared for letting go of that pillow-top mattress when my late husband said there was a deep rut on his side of the bed. We found ourselves in the mattress showroom being faced with sticker shock and too many choices. Finally we signed on the dotted line as I whispered, “Whatever happened to the $100 mattress?” After the new set was delivered and our wonderful lavender satin covered old mattress was taken away I went to bed that night weeping. When I finally dried my eyes and closed them I began to visualize the closeness and the amorous encounters my husband and I had shared on that bed. In our generation sex was enjoyed in bed and not under waterfalls in Hawaii. So taking away that satin covered fixture in our bedroom was like taking away our love nest.

But my husband has been gone for several years and I have moved into a new phase of my life: dating. I now realize that I must let go of what I can no longer do. But for everything I don’t do anymore, there is a place for new experiences. Instead of fighting the traffic to see a movie in a movie house, I can watch the DVD our neighbor rented and still have three days to return. I can bake a batch of cookies to share. I can go out to lunch with my political friends. I can even continue to write my life story. And I haven’t given up dancing either. There are still many surprises for me as I greet each new day in my life. And I say, “Bring it on.”

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer who can be reached at 206-935-8663 or gnkunkel@comcast.net