By Jean Godden (Her Alias)

What's in a name? Like many who are born female, I have been called a variety of names. When I arrived on the scene, I was named after a maternal grandmother who had a longer, grander name. She was Jennie Wilhelmina, named after a one-time Swedish queen; I emerged as just plain Jean.

Coming into adult life, I was addressed as Miss Jean, the proper address for an unmarried woman. After reaching voting age, I married and, as was then the custom, I took my new husband's name and became Mrs. Robert W. Godden Jr.  I rebelled enough to sign my checks with my given name and two last names. But, at the time, newspaper style books decreed that married women should be properly identified by their husband's name. 

Newspaper style was also the rule in public life. For years, the so-called "woman's seat" on the Seattle City Council -- a lone woman among the nine councilmembers -- was occupied by a "Mrs. Harlan Edwards." Today we know her by her given name: Myrtle. 

When Myrtle Edwards died in an unfortunate accident, her co-workers sought a proper memorial. They decided to name a park after her. They first suggested Gasworks Park, but her heirs didn't like that park's design with its rusting towers. Instead they opted for the park along the Elliott Bay waterfront that still bears her name.

In Myrtle's day, news organizations were fussy about how they referred to women. It mattered if you were single (Miss Jane Smith) married (Mrs. Robert Jones) divorced (Mrs. Jane Smith Jones) or had resumed your maiden name. 

When I worked as a reporter (first at the University Herald and then the Seattle P-I), I often had to check with newsworthy subjects to make certain we were using the proper honorific (Miss or Mrs.?) There was far less hassle if you were a guy. If you were under 16, you were addressed as Master Jones; if you were married, divorced or single, you were merely Mr. Jones.

Things became more complicated in the 70s when Ms., a new designation, came along. At first the new honorific was treated like feminist overreach. Staid publications like the New York Times refused to use Ms., considering it a passing fad. Once Gloria Steinem unveiled Ms. magazine, the term became more mainstream. 

It was still years before newspaper style books relented and came up with this gender-neutral rule: "Refer to both men and women by first and last name without courtesy titles on first reference; in subsequent references only by last name without title. Use the courtesy titles Mr., Miss, Ms. or Mrs. only in direct quotations or after the first reference when a woman specifically requests it." Is that crystal clear?

Just as byzantine are the use of such terms as "the Honorable," used as a courtesy title for judges, mayor and other elected officials. The proper address in the courthouse is "Your Honor." The Honorable title also is used for counselor posts; but our country's ambassadors are properly addressed as "your Excellency."

Even after an official leaves office, "the Honorable" is still used and can be abbreviated as "the Hon." But protocol says that Honorable is only used for living persons and never along with other titles such as "the Honorable Dr. Whosit."

When I was elected to the Seattle City Council, I learned that I had become a CM, short for "councilmember." But I was nonplused to discover that I had also become "the Honorable Godden." What was even more bizarre was when I started receiving bulk mailings, the kind that request money and pretend to be on a first name basis. Thanks to mail merge, those form letters start out as "Dear Honorable." How intimate.

The entire subject of courtesy titles seems like a quaint holdover from days of yore, when we addressed members of the peerage using titles like "your lordship" or "your ladyship." For my part, I really could do without being addressed as "Honorable." or as "Dear Honorable." If you should meet me on a Seattle street or in a local coffee bar, I'm happier to be plain Jean.