Now that the extension of winter seems to have ended, (no real spring, was there?) the garden stores are packed with all of us suburban farmers trying to catch up on the planting season.

Here at the Anthony Organic Dog Ranch things are no different.

Mrs. A and I spent last Sunday beating the raised beds into submission with the mini-tiller, adding organic compost and sowing the crops we hope to harvest in late summer.

There are numerous good reasons to have a vegetable garden, and one of them is the current bee crisis.

If you've not heard the buzz, it may bee because bees don't garner a lot of news headlines normally. But apiarists (beekeepers) all over the world are experiencing significant losses of hives due apparently to mites that pass viruses from colony to colony.

Another good reason to get out your hoe is because it is one of the most human things we can do when we nurture a seed into a useful plant.

Somewhere in our early history, around circa 7000 B.C., where early hunter-gatherers could

no longer migrate they were forced to cultivate plants instead of just collecting them. The agricultural revolution had begun and neolithic peoples began storing and trading foods, and we have not stopped to look back ever since.

Anyone who has planted a garden will tell you about the differences between a store-bought vegetable and the buttery flavor of new white potatoes, the satisfying snap of an newly picked French green bean or the tart sweetness of a vine grown roma tomato.

If you have never pulled an ear of sweet corn from the stalk and bit into it, you have missed an important part of the ritual of the gardener's experience.

Writer and humorist, Lewis Grizzard once said, "It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato."

I have been digging up my yard in earnest for only a scant five years or so, and truth be told, I'm not all that good at it.

Still, I recognize the value of learning the skills of plant selection, fertilization and pest eradication. I believe it is a moot point that the cost of greens and fruits can only go up, what with the ongoing fuel crisis, unstable weather patterns and growing populations.

If you don't learn to provide for yourself, even if only in small patio containers, you may, at some point have to rely on government handouts or the largesse of friends, neighbors or family.

So far, I have three dwarf apple trees, a prolific Beauty plum tree, cherries and raspberries and in the raised beds I have planted snap peas, carrots, green and red onions, butternut squash and zucchini and even a Giant Pumpkin. More on that around October.

Because in the world of accomplished gardners, I am still a budding green thumb, I still kill a goodly number of plants.

For instance, I have learned that when weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

So in order to have something to put on the kitchen table come harvest time, I get my tips from Mrs. A's father, the Famous Russian.

The Famous Russian has been gardening since God was a baby, and he brings to fruition wonderful tomatoes, garlic, snap peas and potatoes each year as if it's nothing. 'SCOTT'...he shouts to me, 'TAKE THESE BEETS HOME WITH YOU...IS GOOD TO MAKE SOUP!'

Making beets into Borscht is child's play to the Famous Russian as well, but I am content to load his offerings into a bag and then try to pretend to his daughter that I grew them myself. She is never fooled.

The Famous Russian tips, with my translation:

"Plant potatoes by dark of the moon" He means NOT near the full moon.

"A cup of beer for slugs, two cups for you!" I think you get his drift.

"Gloves...they are for babies...USE YOUR HANDS."

Oddly, he has beautiful soft skin on his hands. Go figure.

"Sing to tomatoes...they have no ears...so sing LOUD."

He loves to sing, and to wake up the neighbors. And finally, Papa says,

"V ogorode buzina, a v Kiyeve dyad'ka" which translates loosely as,

"Elder-berry is in the garden, therefore your Uncle is in Kiev."

I have no idea what that means, but with his tips, a little luck and some patience I hope to bring in a decent crop this year.