I recall a woman telling me once at a party, years ago, that her 12-year old was rebelling, starting to date boys too early, and starting to be snappy and surly.

I listened with trepidation, holding my new baby in my arms and wondering how I could avoid this fate.

I remember the woman sighed deeply and saying (something to the effect), "I don't know what good it will do me to correct anything at this point.

"All of those parenting experts say that once your kid hits 13, you've done pretty much all you can do anyway. From there on in, your kid is raised by their peers."

Could this be true? Do we really get 13 years to impart our morals, our lessons, and our best ethics to our kids? Then they go to work figuring it out with their friends?

With that question bouncing around in my mind for the last 13 years, I have had a bit of a ticking time bomb going on as my daughter approached her 13th birthday this summer.

And, as she passed the momentous occasion, I have been thinking a lot of three 13-year olds with the charmingly similar names of Ella, Emma, and Emily.

Emily and Ella met my daughter Emma in Camp Fire about five years ago and became friends. I remember many an hour in the cold with these girls, selling Camp Fire candy.

This summer our family is doing what we do every summer - organize a back-to-school supply drive for our community of Vashon. The town is stepping up as usual. And our kids are involved once again, painting signs and putting together flyers.

But this year's drive is now a bit different than those of the past.

Ella came up with the idea of putting on a rummage sale and giving half of all of the proceeds to the school drive. Our daughter Emma jumped in, and then Emily. Before you knew it, the girls are emailing their friends and making up flyers. Now word is spreading and I am sure the rummage sale will be a hit - as well as a lot of fun.

I took some pictures of the girls yesterday and found myself thinking of what I was doing at 13.

I know I was probably picking berries. I know I had slumber parties with friends and spent a lot of time swimming. But I also know I wasn't painting signs or making flyers. And you can bet I wasn't coming up with the idea that Ella did.

How do kids learn generosity? Can you see it in the faces of those 10-year olds? Was it because they were in Camp Fire, or because people were teaching them along the way?

Whatever the reason, the idea took root. And I wonder, looking at these 13-year olds, where they will be in 30 years? Giving to charities? Working for nonprofit organizations in their careers? Or maybe even running school drives, or taking photographs of their children working on rummage sales?

The spirit of giving is a tremendous thing to give your children. I find myself deeply humbled watching it take root in these kids.

And knowing somehow - they'll never lose it.

Well, that's that. My work here is done. Guess I can leave these kids to their own devices from here on out, according to that long-lost friend's adage, and just go myself a five-year spa treatment.

Yeah, right.

Lauri Hennessey writes this column on parenting and kids for several Robinson newspapers, and lives on the island of Vashon. She runs her own public relations business, and can be reached at lauri@hennesseypr.com