Fighting for their family's value
Wed, 12/28/2005
As Chris Gamache and Judy Fleissner made their way up the Washington Supreme Court steps earlier this year to argue for their right to marry as a same-sex couple, the Ballard residents wanted more than anything to shield their two children, 5-year-old Tillie and 9-year-old Noah, from the chants and cries of thousands of protestors.
Mostly of religious affiliation, the protestors shouted things like, "God hates you!" and "You're going to hell, sinners!"
Gamache and Fleissner said they try to teach their children compassion and understanding, and when Tillie and Noah began asking why the protestors seemed to hate them, it became even more important.
"We explained to our kids that people have strong beliefs and opinions and that it is best to try and learn about who they are and where they are coming from," said Gamache, "because that's we really want from other people."
A couple for more than 15 years, Fleissner, a Bellevue City Police officer, and Gamache, a downtown Seattle attorney, argued their case before the Washington Supreme Court along with 18 other same-sex couples involved in two lawsuits that challenge the validity of the state's Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The DOMA confines marriage to a union between a man and a woman.
The Castle v. State and Andersen v. King County lawsuits were filed more than a year ago. Gamache and Fleissner had filed with Castle v. State along with 10 other gay and lesbain couples. The King County and Thurston County judges who heard the cases ruled in favor of the couples, citing the DOMA to be unconstitutional.
Both cases were then appealed by the state and counties, consolidated and brought before the Washington Supreme Court. Now the couples wait on the edge of their seats for the justice's ruling.
But it is more than the right to legally marry that Gamache and Fleissner want.
"I just want people to know we are just the same as everybody else," said Fleissner. "We have the same family concerns, same ballet classes, soccer practices, and play-dates as other families. We are the same as every other household but ours just happens to have two mommies."
"For us the lawsuit is about fairness and equality and not being treated like second class citizens," said Gamache.
Fleissner said the City of Bellevue, is "philosophically opposed to her lifestyle." And despite numerous requests from the police force on her behalf, the city will not allow Gamache to be covered under her insurance policy. Fleissner was not able to take family leave when Gamache gave birth to their daughter, and her partner would not be considered her spouse if Fleissner were to die in the line of duty.
"I put my life on the line for my family every day, just like all the other people on the force," said Fleissner. "Why shouldn't I deserve to have my family protected?"
Some states grant civil unions and domestic partnerships to same-sex couples, allowing all the legal benefits and rights of a heterosexual married couple within the state, but those rights do not translate to other states. Civil unions do not grant a same-sex couple any of the federal benefits a heterosexual couple enjoys.
"It's just not good enough," said Gamache.
The two were married in spring of 2004 as soon as Multnomah County in Oregon began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Reviews by county law firms implied it could be unconstitutional to deny requests for marriage licenses.
Opponents of gay marriage quickly appealed the actions and the next month the Oregon Supreme Court nullified all marriages granted to same-sex couples. The court decided that marriage laws are a matter of state concern, not local authority.
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) legally represents the couples in the case now before the Washington Supreme Court and has recently awarded them the ACLU-WA 2005 Civil Libertarian Award.
"For us the award is a recognition of having the courage to stand up, and speak up for what we believe in," said Gamache. "We are asking for the civil aspects of marriage to be approved for us, and not marriage as a religious institution. To us it doesn't have anything to do with religion."
The Netherlands, Belgium and Canada all allow same-sex marriage in at least one area. If the Washington Supreme Court rules in favor of the plaintiffs, it will become the second state in the country, after Massachusetts, to allow the union between same-sex couples with the same rights as a heterosexual couple. It would also mean that same-sex couples from other states could marry in Washington.
But for this couple, a ruling in their favor could mean the chance at a more normal and validating life for their family.
"I think a lot or people don't realize that we grew up like everybody else, with dreams of getting married and having children," said Fleissner. "I didn't expect to be attracted to women, but I am, and I still want those things. For people to say I am less of a person or that I don't deserve that life because of who I love -- that's just wrong."