Publisher

When Elsbeth takes me shopping at the sooper dooper market she goes her way and I go mine, each with our own four-wheeled buggy.

I usually head for the magazine racks, grab a couple of fishing mags and head for the mocha counter, where I grab a comfy chair and have a delightful time. I can usually get through two magazines before she appears and wants to go home.

This week I got restless and was pushing my empty cart through the store looking for her. She is only hip-high to a new broom and hard to spot. I have seriously considered attaching a helium balloon to her ear.

Sometimes, depending on what she wears, she blends in with the canned goods or the rows of Cheerios.

A young executive with a badge of authority saw the forlorn look on my face and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes, thanks, What have you done with my wife?"

He seemed a little perplexed at first, but then asked seriously, "Have you looked in the pet food department?"

Smart aleck. Maybe he realized the only pet at our house is her.

Shoving that cart around sure beats the treadmill at home. When I am not reading, my empty cart provides me a great opportunity to get in a healthy walk. This also allows me to bump into old friends (and some Scrooges who are not always friendly).

I also get to study packaging, prices, tools, sporting goods, garden fertilizers, light bulbs, blueberries, you name it. And my basket stays empty, so it never gets heavy.

When Elsbeth finally gets in line to check out, I magically appear to lift the stuff out of her basket and put it on the checkout counter.

Then my duties are discharged. I return to my own basket, get in another half mile of rambling, and return just in time to take the provisions to the car. It is a win-win day for both of us.

I recommend it to you women out there. Your husband will be delighted with the idea and then gladly hike the aisles with you instead of golfing, fishing, watching football or snoozing in the papa chair, gathering cholesterol like pollen.