The situation you relate is very similar to one I was involved in (How does hatred begin?, Nov. 9).

A girl that my daughter had been friends with in preschool was told by another child that the reason she hadn't been invited to my daughter's birthday party was because of her parent's political affiliation. In reality, the girl was left off the birthday list simply because my daughter was at a different school and had made new friends. Did you consider the possibility that little 5-year old Christina might have been wrong?

You also say that the other family avoided you in the retail store. Did it occur to you that Ruth's family did not see you? I know that my daughter would love to see her old friend again, and if we saw her family somewhere, we would certainly say hello, regardless of our political beliefs. Have you ever thought to call Ruth's mother to talk about how upset you and your daughter have been instead of continuing to harbor so much anger and pain inside you?

You stress the need for more open communication, yet you seem to have never made an effort to talk to Ruth's family.

Your article brings up many very good points about our society today. Emotions have been so high around politics in the past few years. It is up to all of us to see beyond our differences and build a stronger community. We can take our inspiration from our sons and daughters. Young children continue to strive for friendship with one another in spite of differences and misunderstandings. It is we grown-ups who give up hope of communication and reconciliation.

Margaret Chodos-Irvine

Admiral