Strong. Virile. Aggressive. Dominant.

These are adjectives reflecting physical and acculturated male power. Reinforcing these attributes are the experiences of male bonding, the uniting of men into close knit camaraderie units of power symbolized by the male football team.

Athletic star sports has been tied closely to male bonding. The edge created by the drive to win against an opponent was not a part of the usual female training, however. In days past, a girl to indicate such a spirit would appear too aggressive in the eyes of a future marital partner. The blooming bust line, the willowy figure and the pretty face coupled with practiced charm proved to be the girl's power in attracting a male. Females were left to bond one to one with husbands for the purposes of procreation while males prepared themselves for being the sole breadwinners and being ready to serve in battle when called.

To graduate to the male bonding group, the boy had to possess a physical and psychological advantage over girls or he would become an outcast, an isolate from the male group. Males feared this condition. Every young boy was terrified of being dominated by girls and women. It was this first hurdle - domination by the mother - that had to be surmounted for a young boy to be accepted by his male peers. If you watch reruns of The Wonder Years you will see this happening before your very eyes - a son choosing to place his male football buddies first and the protective domination of his mother second in order to go out into the world of male bonding.

Females who tested the male bonding structure by experiencing a sense of their own physical power and daring to gain independence from the male protector were considered to be castrating to males. It was not surprising that many girls wished secretly that they had been born boys. Some even aped the acculturation of the male during a "tomboy stage." During this period of tolerated freedom for the young "tomboy" sports was a pleasurable outlet. At puberty, the "tomboy" learned that if she wanted to be a success she would come off this sports kick and start primping and standing on the sidelines and begin cheering on her male hero.

Most girls had been carefully taught that men are leaders who make the rules. Girls could look around them and verify this, getting the message that they were not as smart, not as capable and not as powerful so they needed the protection of men. Some girls who put their own sense of identity and human fulfillment before the practice of being the male attractor moved on to become psychologically liberated. They became persons in their own right. Both boys and girls will certainly gain from an overhaul of the present male champion system with males dominating the work places while women still expect to retire when they are pregnant or at least work only part time.

The work place certainly needs overhauling to respect the needs of both fathers and mothers so that they can be offered compensatory time schedules and childcare. Otherwise the recent headline that more moms are leaving the work force to stay at home with children full time will turn back the clock to a time when mothers were expected to be the sole child rearers in the family. You rarely hear about a stay-at-home father although there are some.

We don't need to force mothers to stay at home all the time nor does society need to force fathers into a harried work schedule that prevents them from being adequate fathers. Let's finally provide work environments and support services so that both parents can be with their children more of the time and neither sex has to repress its full humanity.

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer who can be reached at gnkunkel@comcast.net or 935-8663.