I should be packing right now. I am leaving for college in one week. I should be going through my room and dividing all of my things into neat little piles: I'm taking this, I might take that, and these are staying behind. But I'm not. I keep telling myself that I will, but so far all I've gotten is partially through my wardrobe. Yeah - procrastination has been kicking my behind.

No matter how much I keep denying it, I'm running out of time. I can't keep wasting my days in lazy-denial-bliss. It's time for me to get my butt in gear and tie up all those loose ends I've been avoiding - like packing.

When you get ready to move - for college or otherwise - you suddenly realize that you have a lot more stuff than you ever thought possible. My parents have been bugging me for the past week (at least) to start packing so that we can get an idea of how much stuff I'll have to move down to California. My response? Don't worry about it. It'll be fine. Sure, maybe one of those things that you put on the roof of your car might be a good idea, but it's no big deal. Uh-huh, good one Kyra-lin.

Now that I'm packing I realize that my parents had a very good point. I have a lot of stuff. At this rate, if I have my way, my dorm will end up resembling nothing short of a storage locker. My roommate is going to love me.

Unique to moving and going to a place where no one knows anything about you is that you get to choose who you want to be. You don't have to carry any baggage that you don't want to carry. But then there is the issue of choice.

It really is difficult deciding which parts of me I want to drag down to California. Do I bring my volleyball gear in case I play intramural sports or my flute in the off chance that I start taking the instrument seriously again? What about my martial arts equipment and training weapons - I really doubt those are going to be even allowed, but I can't leave them behind! I am leaving behind most of my books, and yet I already bought my own sewing machine since my mom won't let me even think about taking hers. And a sewing machine means fabric, needles, thread, scissors, a measuring tape, trims, patterns and maybe even a dress form. Don't even ask me where that's all going to go!

It's enough to make me want to throw my hands up and scream to the heavens.

Packing isn't nearly the only thing I have to worry about either. You know those things called friends? Those are pretty important and I would like to see them before I leave. Two particularly illusive Asian girls (eh-hem!) have been effectively giving me the slip. I know one of you gets this paper so call me back!

Even though I know that I'll be coming back and visiting quite regularly, there is something monumental about leaving home for the first time. College is such a huge step toward growing up and becoming an independent adult that I can't help but put emphasis on this time right before I officially leave.

As much as I really, really want to stay behind with my friends and remain in this comfortable and familiar life I've carved out for myself, there's no turning back. For me, it's not even an option. Like I told my mom, just because I don't want to go doesn't mean it isn't the right decision. Wish me luck!

Kyra-lin Hom may be reached at kl_hom@yahoo.com