Disappointment

By Georgie Bright Kunkel

Since not one of us in the human category can rule the world single-handedly, we have to learn to give and take. We can't have it all. Certainly we can't have whatever we want whenever we want it. Thinking otherwise is a road map to big time disappointment.

When I was a lot younger I could list all my disappointing moments on one page of my diary. Once I was told by my older sister that she and her friend would take me swimming at Deep Lake if I would cut my long scraggly hair. Not! I cut my hair and she went off without me. Being outraged as a 10 year old, I began walking. I didn't consider the 20-plus miles that it would take to get there as I was fuming. Luckily, my soft-hearted big brother soon came along in his car and yelled, "Georgie, hop in. I'm going to Deep Lake." Saved by a brother with a big heart.

Oh, I haven't mentioned the time I wanted to go to my younger brother's graduation at Stanford. My mother was going and I begged her to take me. I had enough saved in my life-long bank account (all of 14 years of savings). My mother said I needed to save my small bank account for college. And sure enough, when it did come time for college that money paid for my first quarter's tuition.

Recently I hoped that I would be able to do a book reading at the upbeat bookstore in downtown Seattle. Since my husband could not do the reading, I looked forward to doing it for us. I got no response after I sent in the book to be considered. But things changed for me. I was scheduled later on and had the greatest praise from two of our grown children who said I presented like a pro.

The moral of all this is that no disappointment is forever. When one door closes, another often opens. To sit and whine about disappointment takes time away from hope. Often one can learn that there is more than one way to achieve what we think we need from life. As my old nanny always said, "There is more than one way to skin a cat."

A friend of mine was in a job where he was disappointed with the lack of appreciation for his work. One day he walked out and said he wasn't coming back. The boss realized that he really needed this employee and asked him to return. My friend, realizing that he didn't need to be trapped in a dead-end job, never looked back.

Many people are stuck and don't know how to view their own situation in ways that would shed light on how life could change for the better. Disappointment can sometimes undermine our sense of well being and lead us into making destructive choices. Then it is time to realize that the whole world isn't out to get us and that we have control of how we react to disappointment. We can go for the brass ring that is within our reach and not the one that is unattainable.

If we have not nurtured our friendships and cared about our family members and prepared for the downturns in our lives, then illness or accident or loss of a job - all grave disappointments - could put us on the street. Of course there are special circumstances beyond our control. For those circumstances, it is hoped that our society will find better ways to provide.

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer who can be reached at 206-935-8663 or

gnkunkel@comcast.net