Hard as it is to believe I am not perfect - though Elsbeth, in the throes of euphoric youth once murmured something like that to me. It happened.

I thought about that this morning when I was half asleep and half awake. I did not debate the possibility of perfection with her way back then but this morning I nudged her silent, rumpled form and reminded her of the now ancient matter of fact statement.

She mumbled something about many decades and sleep and other slights but I was almost awake and contemplative so I said, "Perfect is hard to be so I was wondering if I was still the same. It is possible you had me mixed up with someone else because I don't feel perfect this morning and maybe I forgot how to be and you could maybe help me regain my former glory."

I heard some muttering that I had difficulty with and I said, "It depends on what you meant by perfect. It could be that it went to my head knowing I would never have to get any better"

She then took her pillow and put it over her head probably because her ears were cold and I looked at my watch and found it had stopped in the middle of the night and it has a little light that comes on when you push the winding stem and it didn't come on.

So I was disappointed because I like to wake her up and show her the time and push the stem that lights the face so she can see how clever I still am.

Then I pointed out that if I were perfect I would have been smart enough to invent those orange traffic cones you see all over the streets where guys are fixing things and make us millions of dollars and when I said that I heard a tiny grunt.

Or I should have invented the ballpoint pen and the microwave.

I can't remember if she said that perfect stuff before or after I first took her dancing and somehow her feet kept getting under my shoes. Probably before.

Then I said, "I guess it comes down to what you meant by perfect. And whether it still means the same thing 50 years later and - where are you going? I know I am not Ichiro or Sexton and sometimes I don't hang up the bath towel but when I get a new battery I will show you how my watch lights up in the middle of the night.

"Come back. You can't hear me through the door."

Jerry is still waiting for her to open the door, but you can reach him at publisher@robinsonnews.com