What might have been

By Georgie Bright Kunkel

At a time of being despondent there are always thoughts of the one that got away or what could have happened if something hadn't gone wrong. My husband can always remember the marlin that he played for hours leaving him with aching arms for days after one fishing trip. I get seasick so didn't accompany my husband on the fishing boat off the shores of Kauai. I waited in the motel for him to return and when several hours had passed I called the tour office. I received information that someone on board had a marlin on the hook and the tour boat wouldn't return until the marlin was caught or it got away. Well, my husband was the one with the marlin on the line but the person holding the net couldn't get it into the boat and it did get away. Later we joked about the fishing crew letting it go deliberately so the vacationers on the next boat could catch it again.

Luckily my husband doesn't dwell on what might have been. That is my thing.

When I get upset or down on life I can tap into numerous things that I wish had been different - the time I decided not to appear at my own Masters Degree graduation for example. After years of taking one class here and one class there because I was busy having four children I finally completed my course work. I was sent information that I was allotted four tickets for graduation even though I needed five for my husband and four children. In frustration I skipped graduation. Years later I petitioned the ombudsperson to be allowed to walk in the graduation ceremony but was denied. Every few years I try again but so far my plea doesn't match up to someone incarcerated in a concentration or internment camp at the time of graduation.

I had so many interests and was not able to pursue all of them. In my small town the career choices suggested by my senior advisor were teacher, clerk typist or hairdresser. Often I daydreamed about singing in the opera Carmen or tap dancing on stage or playing jazz piano in a nightclub. Elementary teacher was my choice, not a poor one, but the only one I felt was open to me. I realize my dreams by never missing a chance to dance at a family wedding or sing at Open Mike night at our church.

Recently I produced an amateur DVD that has fed my desire to become a filmmaker. As much as I complain about technology and its frustrations it has opened a whole new world to me. Now my "might have beens" are not bothering me as much.

As I have been around quite a while I have had a chance to model for younger people what it is possible to be in one's elder years. I often get, "I hope that I can have as much spirit as you have when I am your age." But others who notice my complaining on one of my "might have been" days give me negative feedback and I retort, "Research says that complainers live longer. If that is so, then you'll have to put up with me until I am over a hundred."

So when I find myself suffering the "might have beens" I think of the world yet before me - our great-grandchildren who have not yet heard Grandma talk about drilling holes in wing panels for the B-17 bomber during WWII or the Washington Women in Trades who honor us Rosie the Riveter types for being the forerunners of women in the trades today.

As my sister always said, "Never go to bed without thinking of all the worthwhile things in your life and the important things you are going to accomplish the next day." After going through a tough week it was my luck to remember my sister's advice.

Georgie Bright Kunkel is a freelance writer who is starting a Rosie the Riveter group in West Seattle. If you are a woman who worked in industry during WWII, contact her at gnkunkel@comcast.net or 206-935-8663.