Perhaps it is in the consequence free approach to raising children?

Three recent news headlines suggest to me that it is this consequence free approach to raising children that has allowed a very significant number of children to make what most would call dumb decisions.

Locally we have a 10 year old who last year, when he was 9, stole a car, wrecked it, then went to the airport and evaded both security and ticket agents to flee to Texas, was caught at the airport again trying to make it to Texas.

According to court documents he has made no restitution for the car he stole and wrecked, not surprising, and I don't believe that he has been a scholar in school in spite of his well-illustrated intelligence.

Was he taken out of his current situation and placed in an environment where bad choices would have some adverse consequence? No!

Not at all, he was returned to sender! Is it likely that he will be trying something else that is also illegal? I think so.

So far he has seen no consequence that has made an impression upon his bad behavior, and he is only 10 years old!

In another case in our area an 18 year old, thought to be drinking alcohol, went to a construction site, climbed on a power roller, started it up, and proceeded to roll it over on himself with fatal results.

Did someone force him to drink illegally? Did someone force him up onto the roller? Did someone force him to start it up and try to drive it?

No, but the parents blame the contractor for leaving the keys in it!

Again, evidently this 18 year old wasn't aware that there were consequences for his actions!

Evidently neither in his home, nor in his school, as he was not reported to be a scholar, only a good kid, was there sufficient wisdom imparted to make this 18 year old reason as an adult. I could assume that he fell into the category of slacker at least in school.

This was tolerated by both the school and his parents.

At the other end of the nation we have learned about 18 girls, all age 16 or less, who have allegedly formed a pregnancy pact to try to get pregnant at the same time, so they could raise their children together!

They were frequenting the health center for pregnancy tests and expressing disappointment when the tests were negative.

The father of one of these soon to be babies was said to be a 24 year old homeless man. Any consideration for the consequences of being a 16 year old, not even a high school graduate, and a mother?

At least in the minds of 18 young girls evidently not!

One could ask the following questions:

1. Where are the parents when it comes to offering appropriate education about adverse consequences?

2. Where was the education establishment in their efforts to cause these kids to think about their actions and how it would affect them, and others?

3. Where was the community, courts specifically, in dealing with some pretty dumb decisions?

Sadly, for at least these 20 kids, there is little evidence that consequence for poor decisions clearly made prior to these examples that has been effective.

I am reminded of a former business associate who had a son who eventually ended up in jail for his behavior.

In an earlier situation this parent threatened him by failing to fix his jet ski!

So what did the kid do? He stole someone else's!

Was it Doctor Spock who started this? I am not sure but parents and many educators have flocked to the cause that growing up is a beautiful thing, and that there should be no consequences for poor decisions!

The TV show Leave it to Beaver is no longer an example for learning through consequence. I can't remember how many times I have talked to parents about situations involving their children and they have indicated that they were unwilling to force their children to apply themselves!

Could this be why other societies are overtaking us? I think so.

Youngsters left to their own decision making are not always making the best decisions as the previously mentioned examples prove.

When these kids were very young parents, were in most cases very concerned about their behavior.

They took, in most cases, extraordinary precautions about hot stoves, stairways, and other situations that they thought were dangerous as they well should have.

However, as they grew older, evidently parents, educators, and the community have felt that no precautions were necessary.

This has lead to some tragic results for children and our society. Why does the United States have so many young adults in the penal system, and the number keeps rising?

These prisons are not full of the well educated!

Average reading skills are between the fourth and sixth grade levels in our prisons.

Why are there adults with this level of scholarship?

Could it be that there were no consequences for many of their actions during their youth? I think so.

We seem to have delayed reality for our children until it is too late for many of them to be contributing members of our society.

Who are the major guilty parties? Parents and Educators in my mind. Neither one of these parties seem to be willing to insist upon a standard of behavior that would cause these children to pause and consider the consequences of some of their actions.

Perhaps it is time that we reconsider who is responsible for the upbringing of our children, and begin to impose some consequences upon those who fail to meet the standard?

If we did, it might be better for all of us.

Maybe this is part of a solution to the educational crisis?

Charlie Hoff is a former member of the Boarwd of Education for Federal Way Public Schools. His weekly column will appear in upcoming issues of the Federal Way News and online at www.federalwaynews.net.