I was so thrilled when friends of mine

Said "Come with us the weather's fine

We'll just relax and cruise around

The scenic bays of Puget Sound"

I packed my bags and climbed aboard

Their boat, whose looks I just adored

But once my sneakers hit the deck

All things were not what I'd expect

It seems as though the boating crowd

For some strange reason, aren't allowed

To use the words I've always said

For things like kitchen, bath or bed

The "galley's" where you cook the gruel

A "state room's" where you sleep, not rule

And "head" becomes the bathroom's name

Though bottoms are its claim to fame

"Salon" is where you socialize

Not perm your hair, to my surprise

The "bilge" is in the "hold" below

But what's down there, I do not know

"Forward's" where you'll find the "bow"

When "aft", you've reached the "stern", somehow

But never could I figure, quite

Why "port" is left and "starboard's" right

I finally learned that those who sail

Consider boats to be female

They love their lines and subtle curves

And in the end what's theirs' is hers'

I think for now I just will be

On land where things make sense to me

Where decks won't roll and waves don't rush

And heads can talk instead of flush

Carol Smith

Charlestown