(Editor's Note: T.M. Sell, founder of Breeders Theatre, writes satirical plays for the group. Below, he focuses his wit on Des Moines civic affairs.)

The Des Moines City Council committed this week to preserving parking in downtown.

Des Moines councilmember Gus Deadlock pointed to the availability of parking as one of the city's attractions to people.

"That's why we can't allow any business development downtown," Deadlock said following a hearing. "If we allow new business, people will want to come to Des Moines and then there won't be any parking."

Councilmember Cyrus Roadblock agreed.

"Look at Burien," he said. "They've got all that activity in their downtown core and you might have to drive several minutes to find a parking spot. I wouldn't like that."

Councilmember Flo Inertia questioned Burien's revenue picture as well.

"What would we do with all that money?" Inertia asked. "How would we cut the budget if we had a tax base? That's an important part of the council's work, and I'd hate to have to give that up."

Water District 54 commissioners, meanwhile, expressed surprise that they might have to build bigger water mains to accommodate consumer and business demand.

"They want what?" asked Commissioner Dom Drysdale.

"Look, we kept rates low," Drysdale added. "And with our water mains, you can't really buy much water anyway."

Des Moines council members said the last few years have been tough, without the drain of fighting SeaTac Airport expansion to draw funds away from vital services.

"We've had to be really creative in doing as little as possible," Councilman Roadblock said. "We had a little money there for a while, and that was tough."

But now, with building fees from Highline College slowing down, the council again is short of funds.

"That's a relief," said Councilman Deadlock. "You just can't do as much when you don't have any money."

Meanwhile, council members said Des Moines' many vacant lots give its downtown a distinctive look.

"Why look like all the other towns?" Roadblock asked. "I like the way Des Moines looks."

(T.M. Sell also teaches political economy at Highline Community College in Des Moines.)