A few weeks ago I was out to dinner in Ballard with a single friend, when I observed what I thought was some mild flirting between him and our waitress. 

When I asked him if he was going to get her number since she was both cute and nice, he replied, “I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t tell if she likes me or is just doing her job. And, I would not know how to express an interest anyway. Do I ask for her number? Leave my number on the receipt? Or, is that cheesy?” 

I had no answers. A few hours after dinner, I received a phone call from him with a request:  Would I do a column on the topic and  interview the employees of Ballard bars and restaurants to see if there were at least some general rules or even good/bad behavior to avoid?

I immediately replied, “Absolutely!” and a few nights later I got down to business.  

Over the next few weeks I traipsed into several local hot spots and pestered the employees to enlighten me with any tips on the best way for someone to express an interest in them. 

While I did get a few tips on what to do, I was mostly told what NOT to do.

After all of my work (can I really call hanging out at fun bars and restaurants while chatting up the staff work?),  I sat down and divided my learnings into three distinct categories:  Universal Truths, Best Ways and the largest section, What Not To Do. 

Although this article is specifically focused on romance with those that work in the nightlife industry, I did get an idea for my next column as well: Worst pickup lines overheard by bartenders. 

The first section is Universal Truths, or some undisputable facts that everyone should keep in mind if they are tempted to hit on their cute waiter next time they are out in Ballard.

First, the truth is that those cute bartenders, waitresses, hostesses, etc. get hit on all the time. Men, pay particular attention to this because every place I visited emphasized that the cute waitresses especially get hit on constantly. Just do yourself a favor – the next time you think you have a great line you want to whip out when that hottie brings you a refill, remind yourself that they have probably heard it before several times. 

Second, the truth is they get paid to be friendly. If your bartender laughs at your joke or your waiter compliments your hair, that may not mean they are interested, but rather it is their job to be friendly and make sure you have a good time. 

Third, the truth is when you are hitting on these people, keep in mind they are at work. Which means busy, distracted, tired, often stressed and taking care of many other people as well. 

It is important to convey these truths because from what I learned, chances are slim you can get a relationship, date or even a number from hitting on a nightlife employee. If you remind yourself of those three things and still want to express an interest, read on.

The second section is what I was told were the best ways to hit on that cute nightlife employee, or what I have dubbed “Best Ways.” 

First, be genuine. No lines, they have heard them all and can spot fake from a mile away, so don’t even try it. Just be yourself. 

Second, be polite. Guys, I know many of you think women love jerks, but please do not attempt that strategy with someone who is serving you and expect a romance to blossom.

Third, be a good tipper. Now, this does not mean that you need to tip 60 percent or throw down hundred-dollar bills, just make sure you tip as you should, and most importantly, do not leave a bad tip. (For advice on tipping, see my previous article on nightlife etiquette.)

Last, if you are genuinely interested in someone, come back again a couple times and build a rapport. Virtually everyone I spoke with suggested coming back and maybe even becoming a short-term regular to get to know the person better, their interests outside of serving drinks, etc.

The last and largest section of information I gathered is What Not To Do. Some of this may seem like common sense, but these were all repeated over and over, a big hint that we could all use a reminder.

First and most important, do not get drunk. I understand this can be hard when you are interested in a bartender, since you feel like you must keep ordering drinks if you want to sit at the bar all night. Just remember to drink slowly, mix in a few glasses of water, maybe order an appetizer, but make sure you do not get drunk. Have you ever woken up the next morning with a headache and thought, “Man, what happened last night?” Well what happened is you most definitely did NOT make your cute cocktail waitress fall in love. You probably threw polite and genuine out the window and went with obnoxious and cheesy.

Next, and one that surprised me because I have often suggested it, do not leave your number on the receipt. Even if you leave a great tip, they will not call. Almost everyone I spoke with had experienced someone leaving them their number on a receipt, and none were tempted to call.

I have already touched on the next two in the "Best Ways” section. Do not use a line, they know them all, and please do not leave a terrible tip.

Fifth, do not become a stalker. Earlier, I mention coming back to build rapport with the cute waiter, but make sure you understand the line between becoming a friendly regular and becoming a creepy stalker. If you are in every night leaving poems on napkins and following your favorite bartender to every new bar she gets a job at, you are a stalker.

Lastly, do not assume that because someone works in a bar that they are easy. Somewhere along the way, a reputation was formed for bartenders, cocktail waitresses,and waiters that they were easy targets to hit on and often go home with their customers. At least in Ballard, nothing could be further from the truth. You may want to try Vegas for that.

I have passed this knowledge on to my single friend who was too scared to hit on that cute waitress, and like him, I hope you are now better prepared for the next time you develop a crush on your cute waiter or waitress.

If you have any success stories or think any of my advice is wrong, leave a comment and share the knowledge!

Lindsey Johnson is a devoted Ballardite who loves spending time reading, discovering local eateries and exploring the nightlife Ballard and surrounding areas have to offer. To offer ideas on the latest and greatest activities, email her at ballardafterdark@yahoo.com.