When I first met writer/humorist David Volk in 2006 he was a man still obsessed with his mailbox at the Ballard Post Office. When he moved west in 1988, his Ballard mailbox was his first address. The mailing address used to be essential for business for the freelancer, enabling editors to return rejected manuscripts with envelopes and postage that he had provided for their abuse, but also for the occasional royalty payment.

At various stages of his professional life David has been a travel, coffee and humor writer. Now, he’s the author of “The Cheap Bastard’s Guide to Seattle” which combines all of the above plus much more.
It’s worth noting that the title isn’t his invention. He was hired by Globe Pequot Press to write the Seattle edition of an ongoing series. Although it might not have been what he’d call himself, David soon realized a self-employed writer like himself was born to be Seattle’s representative cheap bastard. However, he doesn’t like to use the word in front his young children, so Daddy has to work on his B-A-S-T-A-R-D project, then we can go to the park.

As reported in my blog when I first met David, he weaned himself from Ballard slowly, creeping east one neighborhood at a time. But his west coast roots stayed in Ballard and along the Ship Canal, with his mailbox and his checking account at Cascade Federal Credit Union just south of the Ballard Locks. He tested his dates/potential mates by taking them to Mike’s Chili. He paid rent on an increasingly empty mailbox for 18 years, keeping a foot in the 98107 zip code.

David still cherishes the Ballard memories, or at least uses them as part of a perpetual comedy routine: the proximity of restrooms at Sunset Bowl when four roommates were too much for one bathroom, the Singles Night they used to have at Ballard Market, answering a roommate ad because of the tagline, “All soap products provided.”

David’s life has changed greatly in recent years. He married a vegetarian and he and his wife Cindy adopted two children in Russia, Hana and Nathan. Now he’s under pressure to break off a remaining Ballard-area relationship with the credit union where Dora has served as his account manager seemingly forever. It’s an economic decision but one that tugs at his heartstrings.

The Russian adoption process has many challenges, such as meeting young “referrals,” deciding to adopt them and then leaving them behind for three months to allow the paperwork to proceed. When the parents return they need enough credit to pay for their hotel room every few days and American dollars, “that are clean, fresh, crisp” as though newly delivered from the U.S. Mint. (David is still not sure why but has had older paper money rejected). Dora helped with these very time sensitive requirements. The moment that Hana and Nathan touched American soil they became citizens, siblings and beloved. How can David break it off with Dora?

As a primary caregiver overnight it was hard for David to keep up with current writing assignments and the perpetual need to be marketing for the future. Last year at this time he was looking at an empty slate so he put out the word. Another freelance writer had been offered the Cheap Bastard job (could a woman qualify?) but referred David. The deadline was 90 days for all of the content, but there was probably no one better qualified in Seattle to write a book that was supposed to be funny and exceedingly practical.

Part of what makes the title frustrating (to me and everyone else I’ve showed so far) is the book would be ideal for families with young children, as well as anyone who wants to be able to partake of Seattle’s cultural offerings without bankrupting their checking account. One retailer that offers free story hour refused to speak with David because they found the book’s title “immoral.” He called another location and just asked for days and times.

Everything but the title of the book speaks to me, daughter of Dorothy the coupon queen and Herb the child of the Depression. Ushering opportunities, story times, happy hours, where kids eat free, health insurance, live music. This book would have been ideal when I had thirty out of town visitors last June, plus it makes for laugh out lead reading because David is a clever snark.

As David says, “The book is a hybrid.” It’s written for both the local and the out-of-towner, and it’s written for a wide audience, the ‘starving student,’ young families with kids, older parents with kids, visitors, movie fans, retirees. But perhaps the only person who may know from the title that it’s geared for them is one of those new fathers with a baby bundled on his chest who cannot believe what a stroller or a babysitter costs these days.

The book has plenty of Ballard highlights, from the music at Smokin’ Pete’s BBQ (starting at a family friendly hour and always free) to known entities such as the visitor center at the Ballard Locks and their free summer concerts. In addition I learned about free wine tastings and yoga classes. David also plans a website in addition to his Facebook fan page in order to offer a “deal of the day” and pass along tips.

David did finally let go of the mailbox. He was paying rent on an empty box just to maintain an attachment to Ballard. As author of “The Cheap Bastard’s Guide to Seattle” he needs to be able to walk the walk and talk the talk as he navigates the new world of kid-friendly restaurants and destination playgrounds. Still, what about Dora?

David Volk will have a book launch at Couth Buzzard Books, 8310 Greenwood Avenue North on December 9th at 7 p.m. (It’s also family board game night at 6 p.m.)