If you've been in any of the grocery or drug stores, you'll see that they're loaded with flowers, chocolates, cards and doo-dads, which all speak of love and romance.

Yep, the retailers are ready to take your money in exchange for helping you express your feelings of appreciation and devotion.

Years ago, many folks didn't have the money to just pop out and buy a card and couldn't slap down a credit card to have flowers delivered, either. The valentines were crudely cut out of scrap paper and decorated with the use of colored pencils and scraps of lace that were pasted around the edges (remember how good that old paste tasted?).

If they lived in the northern states, they'd have to gather flowers during the prior spring and summer months and either clip them up to dry or press them in order to have any posies to offer their beloveds on Valentine's Day. And since folks typically didn't throw anything away, back then, they might find an old hair ribbon that they could use to tie up their offering.

Being totally sentimental, I still have many old valentines that were sent between my grandparents or aunts and uncles. Heck, I wasn't even born, when these cards were being sent. However, I could still sense the sweetness and marveled at the effort that each person put into presenting their feelings for one another.

Sigh...

There is no comparison to what was and what now exists. It seems that our progression, in some areas, has created a digression in others. Are we perhaps treating our relationships with the same carelessness that we treat the rest of our disposable world? With the divorce rate surpassing 50 percent, we're sure as heck doing something wrong.

In science, we're entreated to look to the future. However, in relationships, I suggest we look to the past.
So, I talked to some Des Moines seniors, who have proven track records of keeping their love alive and their marriages strong.

Paul and Jayne Carlson have been married 42 years and said this about choosing a mate, "Think about what you want your marriage to be, when you're 50. Then check out his or her family and see what their marriages look like - that's what you'll most likely get. Be prepared to accept the consequences of your choices. Your spouse should be the most important person in your life. If you can't respect them, then there'll be no trust and a marriage without trust won't have love, either," Paul Carlson said.

I asked how they kept their marriage alive and healthy.

Paul said, "We take one day off, each week, for our marriage - no cell phones, no computers, no interruptions. We also budget for an annual honeymoon."

He then added, "Most people are looking for the right person. You need to be the right person."

Ron and Em Finlay shared, "Serve each other. It's not a 50/50 proposition. It's giving 100 percent of your best to each other. And help each other develop whatever those talents may be, so that you both live a full and satisfying life." They've been married 51 years.

Dodi Bunch was married 59 years. She said, "You don't have to have your way all of the time. And if you think you do - give up on it, once in awhile." She started to leave then turned back with, "And a wife shouldn't meet her husband at the door with troubles."

Helen H. gave this advice, "Treat everybody like you want to be treated. You can never go wrong with that."

Bob and Ruth George married in later life and now have 10 years under their belt. Bob mentioned this, "Most of the younger crowd have no fear. No belief or healthy fear of God. They just live for themselves. However, once you're older and realize the truth of things, it's too late -- you can't go back."

Edith, who was married 60 years, before she was widowed, said, "We showed a real interest in each other's activities. I always knew that he loved me by the way he looked at me and sympathized with my pains. After having five children, I had a few painful moments, you can imagine."

Joan B., who has been married over 54 years said, "Don't ever let the sun go down on your anger. Always kiss and makeup, before the day is over."

I was thinking that this probably has to be one of the harder things to do. Some folks in divorce court would agree, I imagine.

As Valentine's Day approaches and you're stressing over what gift will impress or win over someone's heart, may I make a suggestion? Grab some scraps of paper, fabric and whatever pretties you can find, and then create a valentine that expresses your heart by taking the time to show your feelings. And then, if your intended is touched by your efforts, give them that special something that you have tucked aside. If they scoff at your card or wrinkle their nose - run the other way.