By Jean Godden

Take it from me: There really is a Seattle Freeze. It's the problem newcomers face when they first arrive. The natives are polite, but they aren't ready to make friends. In other words, "Have a nice day -- someplace else."

There are entire websites devoted to the Seattle Freeze. The city's frosty approach to visitors is often traced to the city's early Nordic and Asian immigrants. Others say our sunless weather is to blame. Or that we're all misfits, introverts and lack a sense of humor. 

Best way to thaw the Freeze is to quickly learn the language. Seattle does have its own peculiar lingo.  A page from the Speak Seattle lexicon:

Amazonian: An individual who comes equipped with a tag, travels in six-packs and works at the company store. If you're one of today's 57 newcomers, you probably are one.

Ballard Tux: Outfit that combines faded jeans, threadbare flannel shirt and worn hiking boots, sometimes topped by a Gortex ski jacket.

Bicycle: Once thought to be a superior mode of transportation, now an object venerated by cultists with steel thighs. The cult has detractors who have formed a bikelash, abetted by those who believe in a War Against Cars.

Boeing: The plane factory known by nicknames like the Big Kite Factory, "down on the Lazy Bee" or "Boeings" for short. You'll sound like a local if you refer to "Boeing Time." That means going to work before dawn and leaving with the early shift.

California Driver: A driver trained to cut in front of your car without signaling, to blast his/her horn while you wait for pedestrians, and to block intersections so motorists can't move when the light changes. 

Councilmember: Title for Seattle's policymakers or CM for short. A P-I city editor, fresh from San Francisco, once insisted on changing the text to "supervisor." 

I-5: A parking lot that bisects the city and is sometimes misidentified by California imports as "The Five." Californians also talk about "The Four-oh-five." 

Kale: Perennial vegetable, grown year around and guaranteed to show up in salads, stews, soups and smoothies and next in ice cream and coffee. Want kale with your triple Grande, half caff, skinny latte?

The Junction: Heart of downtown West Seattle and home to the city's first and best All Way Walk Signal.

Puget Sound: The body of water to the West of the city is "the Sound," "the Salish Sea" or "Elliott Bay." Never, never do as one newly-arrived newscaster did and call it "the Ocean." 

Seattle Nice:  Locals practicing their best passive aggressive skills.

The Ave: Folk designation for University Way Northeast and its jumble of fast-food outlets, T-shirt boutiques and second-hand apparel shops.

Microbrew: Beer with an attitude. 

Rat City: Rodents need not apply. The White Center nickname supposedly was taken from the U. S. military Relocation and Training (R. A. T.) Center once located there. The name lives on with the popular Rat City Rollergirls who have trained in White Center. 

Thrifting: Looking for Winnie-the-Poo pajamas, velour jumpsuits or abused leather jackets? It's a pastime popularized by Seattle's own Macklemore aka Professor Mack Lemore aka Ben Haggerty. 

U Dub: Shorthand for the University of Washington, a brain factory attached to a football power known as "them Dawgs." 

Umbrella: An alien device cleverly designed to turn inside out during gusts of wind. Seldom carried by natives. 

Under the Clock: When someone says "meet me under the clock," that means you should go to the Pike Place Public Market and wait at the bend where Pike Street meets Rachel the Pig. Other Market locales include "the Pavilion" and "the Plaza," features of the stunning new Western addition, as well as "DownUnder" for the beehive of shops on the Market's lower floors. 

Viaduct: World's ugliest pedestrian-control device, designed to keep Westerly views at a minimum and tourists from swarming across downtown streets. The old eyesore will soon be demolished and replaced by a waterfront park. That is, it will unless the forces of good get into a war over how many more bike lanes to add.