By Kyra-lin Hom

If all that foreigners knew of America was our pop music, they’d think our entire national existence revolved around “da club.” Turn on your radio, channel spaz between the top stations and you’ll get my drift (exceptions aside of course). Based on our mainstream musical choices, all we care about is “where ‘da party at” – not my words, the words of a homeless refugee fleeing the genocide in his home country.

Living on the streets of Seattle, he’s facing nothing but continued homelessness, disease and deportation if our immigration laws are not reformed. I can see why he might be a tad bit bitter...I don’t get this clubbing obsession, and I like clubs – unlike a number ofmy friends. I like dancing; I like having to yell over music; and I like... Okay so I don’t like strange Bollywood/Kesha remixes, but I do like laughing with friends over the random MC Hammer musical cameos.

The club environment can be a lot of fun, but it’s been given an almostmystical, right-of-passage spin that it doesn’t deserve. In full, tell-all honesty, when I was a teenager I was practically panting for my first legendary ‘club’ experience. I’d heard about ‘the club’ on the radio, seen it on the big screen and read about it in many a less than stellar novel.

I knew that something insane, crazy, grown-up and unforgettable was waiting just beyond those bouncers.

Then I passed that magical 21-years marker and the glittering gates parted before me. Unfortunately (or fortunately in retrospect), it wasn’texactly the intense MTV/VH1 experience I had been promised.

It turns out that outside the club me and inside the club me are one and the same. Like a relationship, clubs only give what you’ve first given of yourself. In other words, you get back exactly what you put in. No amount of alcohol is going to change that.

So here I am on a mission to demystify “da club,” to reign it back inside the borders of reality.

Despite everything you’ve been lead to believe, it’s no different than any other party or social event.

Going with the intention of enjoying yourself for enjoyment’s sake will likely result in you, well, enjoying yourself. Going just because that’s what the scene dictates will likely land you solidly at the bar by yourself. Congratulations, you have just up- (down?) graded from wallflower to barflower.

And if you are going with a specific goal in mind (I’m being politically sensitive here), you are likely to miss out on everything else - potentially at your own peril.