By Pat Cashman

Ten years ago this month, the author delivered a commencement address to the graduating class of Highline Community College. Here, in part, are those remarks---with only a few additions tossed in:

I stand before you today because no chair has been provided.

This is the very first commencement address I have ever been asked to deliver.
Well, there was one other. It was to the graduating class of the Federal Way Kinder Care. And what I told those graduates, I also say to you today: “Do not…under any circumstances…run with scissors. If you must run with something…how about a spatula?”

That’s what I told THOSE young people---and then after making a couple of other remarks, I quickly wrapped up that speech because it was time for the graduating classes’ nap.

Looks like some of you are also beginning to doze. Excellent idea. Experts say we need seven hours of sleep each day. Please feel free to get the first two in as I continue this speech.

Since I am today’s commencement speaker---and you are about to commence---I thought it would be enlightening to look up “commencement” in one of those books that rhymes with “Pictionary.” I searched for half an hour but couldn’t find the word. Turns out that ‘commencement’ does not begin with a ‘k.’
Then, I found it: Commencement. A beginning; a start. How about that? I’ll bet some of you thought this ceremony marks the end of something. So this is either a commencement or a termination. Either way, congratulations.

Once I finally split today, you’ll soon have in your hand a diploma---perhaps even your own diploma. But education is something that never goes away. Sort of like certain cold sores.

There are many more things to learn---and great books to read such as Don Quick-oatie,
Moby Dickey, The Sandwich of Monte Cristo and Tukwila Mockingbird.

Plus The Adventures of Huckleberry Hound by Shania Twain---and Daniel Dafoe’s
Robinson Cano.
Not to mention the great sports’ novels like Catcher in the Rye.

It’s thrilling to explore the works of Marvin Shakespeare---and his great plays like Richard the Third, Henry the 8th---and Jack Daniels the Fifth.

There is a world of classical music to discover in the majestic works of Johann Sebastian Batch, Wolfman Amadeus Beaux-Art and Paste Verde’.

Did you know that many of our Washington state counties are named for U.S. presidents? Adams, Jefferson, Pierce, Lincoln, Garfield, Grant and Cowlitz. And, of course, our nation’s first Irish chief executive, President O’Kanogan.

Many of you may be aware that Benjamin Franklin was the creator of the bi-focals, the lightning rod---and the kite. But did you know he also invented the one hundred dollar bill? And, in so doing, also invented change.

Ten years from now---in 2015---I boldly predict we will be witness to many exciting changes and developments:
Tower Records, Hollywood Video and Borders Books will be bigger and better than ever.

The old ferry Kalakala will be back up and running on the new Des Moines to Gig Harbor run.

A massive boring machine will quickly drill a new SR 99 tunnel---millions of dollars of under budget. The surplus funds will be used to build a second Space Needle.

The Seattle Supersonics will win their third consecutive NBA championship title.

But enough about the future. Let me close by talking about the present. Because as you walk out of this room today after these last two years at Highline---or perhaps three. Or four, five or six. Do I hear seven, anyone?

As you leave today in those goofy gowns---and step into the world that waits---you will find yourself at a fork in the road. Or perhaps a spoon. Let’s call it a spork.

One direction will lead to utter bewilderment and career frustration.
The other direction will lead to sadness and complete despair.

So choose carefully.

On that note, congratulations---and good luck!
Go forth with love in your heart; joy in your life---and at least one credit card that is not maxed out.
Am-scray!

pat@patcashman.com
Also can be seen on “the” on KING 5---and on a weekly on-line show www.Peculiarpodcast.com