By Marjorie Young

One of our most popular pastimes, it appears, involves wishing for others to change. This futile activity takes up much of our time. Over the course of countless psychic readings, I have encountered it again and again…relentless criticism of those we know for failing to meet our standards, or to appreciate and acknowledge our many ‘virtues’.

It’s fascinating that we expect ‘universal approval,’ while at the same time, reserving the right to disparage others. “My mother never agrees with me!” my client might moan. Or, “My husband doesn’t understand me!” another might complain. My response is usually something along the lines of - “Are you always supportive of them?” That frequently takes them aback. Of course, the answer to my query is obviously, ‘no!’

Desiring others to transform takes our focus off the one place where it should be...our own selves. For better or worse, we are the only ones inhabiting our existence; we alone must create our unique destinies and set our true course. Such a responsibility should prove inspirational and energizing, if clearly replete with numerous pitfalls. Still, as I like to point out: “there are no mistakes…only opportunities to learn.” In fact, our ‘stumbles’ often hold the greatest potential for reevaluation and progress - leading towards precious learning and growth.

Yet clearly, it is far more diverting and ‘entertaining’ to undertake reshaping others. Even if it’s bound to fail! For such a quest will likely create resentment or defensiveness for the object of our ‘campaign.’ This is hardly surprising, since we react in precisely the same manner when criticism is heaped upon us. And so, the presumably ‘desirable’ change is even less likely to occur than before.

If we were given a ‘wizard’s wand’ with the power to ‘improve’ another human being, what would be the result? Clearly, if waving the wand took away the target’s own ability to choose his or her course, nothing new would be mastered, and no true evolution could occur. Still, some might find the thought of ‘magically’ changing others to be an irresistibly charming idea. However, the concept of someone using that same wand to change our habits or character, we’d find clearly appalling.

One of the ‘delights’ in focusing on the shortcomings of others is that it gives us a delicious excuse to procrastinate! It’s clear we have only so much time, energy, and effort to expend…and if we’re busily playing ‘Sherlock Holmes’ in ferreting out ‘imperfection’ in those around us, then we have a ready-made excuse to avoid looking in the mirror. And we can use this activity against ourselves in yet another way – by not living up to our own potential - sending a ‘subliminal message’ to the focus of our resentments. That message is - ‘see what you make me do?!” But that is one ‘missive’ unlikely ever to be received. And so, we’d be well advised to channel our zeal and ardor into developing our own talent, heart, and future.

Please contact Marjorie via email at: ballardpsychic@gmail.com
She is available for readings at the Ballard Sunday Market, her Ballard home, or by phone. You can also visit her fantasy/adventure series website at: www.theboywithgoldeneyes.com