By Kyra-lin Hom

There's nothing like moving (even temporarily or just changing work locale) to make you think about relationships, specifically the relationships you have with other people. The last handful of years have been pretty turbulent for me in this regard, as in I've been hopping from place to place quite a bit. And it will probably be another few years before I'm anywhere near to approaching geographic or career stability. So this topic ends up on my mind frequently.

I'm not alone in this. With traveling/moving for work and school becoming ever more common, more and more people are finding themselves in similarly unsettled positions. Not to mention that it's becoming normal for people to switch employers every three years.

By now my close family and best friends are spread between three countries and numerous states let alone cities. Keeping in regular touch is all but impossible – and no, I don't count watching each other's social media feeds as 'keeping in touch.' But how strong are these relationships really? And how do these compare to new friendships? This was an interesting conundrum my fiance and I ran into when preparing our wedding guest lists. When you only have so many seats available, do you invite your old friends or your new?

Over time, I've come to realize that there are three types of relationships within the context of distance. The first is like taffy, getting thinner and weaker as the distance between two people increases. The second is like the line on a fishing pole, winding and unwinding as necessary. It remains steadfast as long as you have a deft hand. The last is like bungee cord with the force pulling the two ends together actually increasing with distance. It's my version of 'distance makes the heart grow fonder.'

However, this type isn't locked in. A single relationship can definitely transition between types, and the only difference from one to the next is how much effort both parties are willing to invest. Sure, lots of little factors come in to play as well. For example, I have a solid group of friends I've known for over a decade now. Though each of us has those within the group that we're closer to than others, we all remain connected because of the group dynamic. Yet that is still only possible because of the effort we each invest. We're just lucky that, in this situation, we get an aggregated collective return.

Having to actively maintain a relationship to keep it alive and healthy sounds straightforward, like something we should all intrinsically understand. Nonetheless, that's not the case. I can distinctly remember the exact moment I realized the necessity of effort, and it was after a major falling out with one of my best friends. That eureka moment has never left me, and he and I have since reconciled better than we were before.

It's just so easy to assume that a strong relationship will remain strong. And it's just as easy to overestimate the energy we're willing to expend. We say we'll call every week, but weeks become months become nevers. Don't let that be you. With all of the different ways we have to communicate with each other, none of us have an excuse. If the relationship really matters, make the effort. Don't assume its going to be there. Sure we might not always have time for an hour-long phone call, but a text? A text only takes a few seconds.